What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
11.06.2025 01:55
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
I will be 64.
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
What are the most significant instances of romantic jealousy in the Harry Potter series?
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
I waited trembling.
Where the ultimate outsiders.
I don,t even have a pension.
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
What should I expect after a BBL surgery?
Why did i forgive my father ?
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
10 Times AI And Robots Have Already Done Horrible Things...Including Killing People - BuzzFeed
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
My Girlfriend Had a Legendary Sex Life Before Me. No One Will Let Me Forget It. - Slate Magazine
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
What did i know ?
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
Pokémon Legends Z-A Is Now Up for Preorder on Switch and Switch 2 - IGN
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
Does being poor build better character than being born rich?
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
I have no regrets .
So, i spoilt her more .
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
When she asked me how she looked .
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
I write beautiful poetry .
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
And i lived it daily.
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
One cannot live in the past .
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
She wouldn,t have been !
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
But it wasn’t much.
But ive been too sick for many years..
All the time i was locked up.
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
I was seconnd youngest,
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
She married twice! .
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
He resisted the act ,that day.
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
Was to survive, this bastard.
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
(And it was in our own minds.)
She was in good health!
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
I was very sick at this time too.
Especially a lifetime of it.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
The only rule us 5 kids had .
I did it because my mum asked me too!
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
They are buried together, in the same grave..
I know ,a lot about trauma.
She found it foreign!.
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
So whats the point in blame.
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
But, we were locked up after school.
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
We were not on the streets..
And who doesn’t know suffering?
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
Who then, do I blame.?
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
As i do to all so called friends.?
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
My mum and dad in the seventies!
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
Im dying but, im not bitter.
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
Put me off passion for life!!
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
We all went to grammer schools
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
I couldn’t, believe it.
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
He knew the spot.
Comes on , in middle age.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
I said to her
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
I was scared of men, in general
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
Ive learnt so much.
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
He was dying to do it , i knew.
She loved him until the end.
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
My life is so biszare .
I think the readers, may guess!
Im still living with it.
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
My family never makes their pension either.
I never cut or harmed myself..
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
It was going to be , some day.
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
This is soul school!.
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
I could never make a relationship work though!
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
I had hoped to write a book about this .
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
I was 9 years of age.
Would this be the day?
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!